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Submitted: February 3
Image Size: 3.1 MB
Resolution: 2549×3260

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JD: Dance 1 Page 1by =Dualmask

Cartoons & Comics / Digital Media / Comics / Pages

Final Update. Made some changes, but it's time to move on.

Hope you dig it!

Jet Dancer and other characters ©

Critique by *SilverBolt14 Feb 4, 2013, 9:56:52 AM

My initial impression of the page is well done lay out. However, there are some things that could have been done to give the reader a better understanding of the page and story. For example, the dialog bubble could be broken into two bubbles. One for panel 2 where it comes from the loud speaker "Now nearing the target zone." That way it would give more of a dramatic effect for the panel 3 bubble " Bring her down and let the S.W. go forward on foot from here." Also a letter tip, I would not use the standard dialog bubble to simulate talk over a loud speaker or mobile device. I would change it to something that make it seem like it is being shouted (Having rigid or jagged edges around the dialog). Other than that, the pencils, inks and colors are fine. May be a bit dark if you planning on having the book printed. But that is fixable when that time comes. Overall, A very good job.

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Critique by *BruceSmall Feb 4, 2013, 9:41:13 AM

Your anatomy and and perspective here are really sound; however the characters feel very stiff, composition of the second panel feels empty, and the inset of the circular window on the 3rd panel is out of perspective.

But there is really only one issue that keeps this page from being as strong as it can be: contrast. Everything here is really dark. The helicopter and even the characters start to blend in with the darkness, and it all becomes hard to see. If there's a lot of spotted black on foreground images like the helicopter consider using lighter tones for the background to make it easier to distinguish.

Try using complementary color schemes and atmospheric color to help the subjects of a panel pop. In the first panel both the moon and the sand steal the viewer's focus because they are so vivid, but the copter is the subject. In the last two panels the redhead girl gains all of the focus for the same reason.

This page isn't by any means bad, but the colors work against it. Keep up the good work.

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*RODCOM1000 Feb 6, 2013

Looking good, Jonathan! Two story-lines at once, that's ambitious

=Dualmask Feb 7, 2013 Professional Digital Artist

Thanks Rod! I must really be a glutton for self-punishment, huh?

*RODCOM1000 Feb 7, 2013

A wise man said "He who is without pain, shall surely be without gain" ...or something like that.

~cyberyanmar Feb 5, 2013 Hobbyist Digital Artist

its getting great!

=Dualmask Feb 5, 2013 Professional Digital Artist

Thanks!

*Randommode Feb 4, 2013 Professional Digital Artist

I do!!! Woot!

=Dualmask Feb 4, 2013 Professional Digital Artist

Thanks!

~Lord-Retsudo Feb 4, 2013 Professional Traditional Artist

Wow..this kicks serious ass. The helicopter especially. You might say you suck in that respect, but you pulled that one off ( though not without, I suspect, some effort on your part...hell I'd probably rather eat hot coals than draw vehicles like this for a living. It'd be just as painful, but be over a lot quicker

) This looks to me like stills from an animation, in fact.

Great to see your skills progressing so far, from single character shots to full-on pages of this quality.

=Dualmask Feb 4, 2013 Professional Digital Artist

Wow, thanks! Admittedly, the helicopter isn't entirely me. I referenced it from a 3D model--but it was still something of a chore, inking it and all. It doesn't appear too often in the comic; otherwise I would have put more emphasis on making it more unique. In fact I wish I had gone with my initial instinct and made it some sort of shuttle like something out of Star Trek TNG instead. It could probably use some textures and decals too...hmm.

I'm particularly happy with the coloring and lighting, though it took quite a bit of doing to get it looking how I wanted it. Fact is I'm a little comic-rusty; I've made better looking pages in the past and I need to get back in the swing of things. No time like the present.

~Lord-Retsudo Feb 5, 2013 Professional Traditional Artist

It's one of the things that puts me off doing any more serious comic book stuff in future, is things just like that. My current series is historical and features lots of crumbly old architecture so I can get away with the odd weird angle, but this kind of modern/dark future stuff still gives me the fear! I know lack of practice is a factor for me, but hell...who wants to draw car wheels and airplane engines over and over again when there's so many hot chicks still to draw

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